Skyline from Michigan Lake

(background)

We all have feelings.

Emotions.

But they say that does not mean we always have to act on them.

Lies Lies Lies.

Is there possibly even just one person who have not spoken a single lie? I actually think the world is made of lies. What a scam we live in.

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Today I realized how much I missed some of my closest friends and how I have not been putting in any effort to keep in touch.

Full Moon.

Michigan Lake (& Apu)

It's Eid again. For some reason it just feels like the Eids are passing me by one by one - a little too fast and I can do nothing about it. I haven't felt this since I was like 12 or so - I really feel like going to Bangladesh. So badly.

It feels like the holidays - I am so used to just bumming around once November begins, this is unusual. I can't seem to get my mind back into the things I am learning anymore. It's getting very frustrating. I don't like it.

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It's one of those days again - when you know you should get off your bum and do something useful with your life and time. So you get up, get a drink of water, get back to your room and instead, plonk right back into wasting every breath away. I like it this way sometimes, I won't lie. But more than sometimes, I hate it more - it gives me time and reason to think. I hate thinking. Not in the sense of using your brains but thinking as in thinking about things - regretting, re-living, remembering. Yuck.

I want to meet you all over again. It's like a movie playing right before me.

Cheers, xx

UA895 to Chicago.

So here I am, Sunday morning with the knowledge that piles of work await me; all to be done by today but still I sit on my bed, in front of Ethan for hours and hours now. I swear, if skype was to charge me, I'd make them a millionaire by now.

Anyways, the last two weeks were good. I am definitely enjoying school way more now then I was two months ago. I am doing pretty well in school, which I am more than grateful of. I am just hoping its not temporary just because its the first few chapters. There is a lot of things I have to do though - like start SATs, look up universities and possibly start on the other tests I have to sit for for studying medicine in UK - just thinking about these makes me all overwhelmed.

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I had so many reasons to look forward to December, now I also have reasons to dread it. Once more - 3 of my friends are leaving the country to go to UK/Aust/India and 2 of them are such great friends of mine. This is just ridiculous.

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I miss yellow&blue.

--

One more thing, I WANT A BOBBLE HEAD!!

cheers.

Lake Forest, IL

Deerpath

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'Because my love for you burns like wild, wild fire. 'Because it's been too long now that I have kept this from you. 'Because I think I had enough.

One more month.

X

Langkawi '09

It's the season of celebration again. But I'm everything but excited. I remember someone telling me that once we come to this certain age, Eid feels like any other day. That person was certainly not kidding. The only thing thats gonna be different tomorrow would probably be all that heavy eating. But its always the same kinda food every Eid, its almost like your taste buds can anticipate it and *snap* there goes all that excitement.

So, here I am 230am in the morning, remembering the times when Eid was something I used to look forward to. Going shopping (to Aarong) for new clothes. Rushing the day before to get whatever I was left with. All the outfits must have matching shoes, purse, earrings, necklaces and whatnots! Coloured nails, hairties that matched the outfits. Cousins asking what clothes we got and how many. Comparing, showing off. Sleeping early so we could wake up early the next day. Changing the sheets of our bed. Into new ones that we bought just for Eid. The sister and I would get matching bedsheets and outfits. We would get atleast 2-3 outfits and decide which to wear when. Sometimes even changing halfway through the day. Mom tying our hair - two ponytails, braids, sometimes, a little blusher when mommmy left like it. Those golden jewelry we had, mommy would take them out and put them on us while reminding us to be careful with it and not take them out incase we lost them. OH and yes, ofcourse, the Eid-ie! (Eid money) I remember counting how much we received in the end of the day and comparing the amounts among the cousins. It felt more of a race, a 'job' collecting these. We would rush outta the house in the morning to greet all our uncles and aunties and grandmothers and ofcourse parents to get them. Hinting the amount we wanted. We never get those anymore. Now that we can actually put the money into good use. Hmmmm.

Sigh, goodtimes. Where did those times go?

Now, at 12pm I'm still in bed.

I miss the sister. I can't remember the last time the whole family had a good Eid together. The last time the 4 of us were actually together. With the actual Eid feeling in the air. We grew outta the whole phase to fast. It doesnt help that its worse in Singapore.

_____

I should stop lazing around so much.

Shawty's like Melody in my head;

That I can't keep out.

So Prit left this week. You'd think by now I should be used to this, but no it doesn't get any easier. Unfair, this is. Maybe I should move to the US. Maybe, just maybe. Skype's become my bestfriend.

So lately, I'm finding myself sticking around, waiting, and waiting some more. Not quite sure what for, but waiting. I realised there is this anticipation in me. I can't quite figure of what exactly. I have too many questions, too little answers.

I wish, I could hear from you again. Hug you close and stay that way for a little longer than 10seconds. Like we were infront of that greasy foodplace. That day, when both of us were a little moody, and we didn't talk much. We had a good time still, spending time with each other. It didn't come easy, we had to ration our time. It was bliss. Do you remember?

I'll be thinking about you.